Honestly, I’m probably the worst person to be giving “boy advice” because my love life is not concrete right now but I have had my share of experiences, both good and bad. Let me start off by saying that I am probably the worlds biggest sap when it comes to love, and I kind of believe that there’s someone perfect out there for me. Even after all my bad experiences. You have to believe right? Otherwise it won’t come true…or something of that nature.

I can’t say I’ve been in many relationships and know all type of men because that would straight up be a labyrinth of lies but I have had my share of dates. Horribles ones, some good, and some just straight up confusing to the heart and mind.

I hate saying “I’ve only been in one real relationship” or “I’ve only been in one serious relationship” because I’ve probably had around four or five boyfriends in total and it would be unfair to them to say I didn’t really take them all that serious but it’s true.

THE ONE YOU CAN’T GET PAST…THEN EVENTUALLY DO

His name was Aldo. Is Aldo.
He was everything I wanted, everything I looked for, and everything I wanted my kids to be.
Or so I thought at the time.
We dated for three years. It was love, and not that sort of “puppy love” you’re thinking but the “full grown love”…
Yeah, I totally stole the lines to Ms. Jackson by Outkast…sue me. Don’t.
It was probably the realest and closest thing I’ve ever gotten to love thus far. It was powerful, heart warming and inviting. But it was also a relationship where I didn’t feel accepted for who I was, and anything I had to offer never felt good enough.
After many fights, tears, disagreements and “love” for each other…we decided to part and go our separate ways.
I was lost for so long, and didn’t know when I’d get past it all and be fine again.
But girlsssssss…let me tell you…you eventually heal, with time, friends and a little bit of fun.
No man or woman should ever define who you are, what your dreams should be, and what you want to get out of life.
If you find yourself in a relationship where you’re constantly coming in second, get out.
You will eventually find someone worth your time and energy.

DATING PHASE

I was eventually thrown into the pool of “dating” with males who were hungry.
Some hungry for love, but most hungry for other things*.
It was both thrilling and nerve racking, because for three years I hadn’t been out with anyone else but him.

Let me throw it out there that although being single and mingling can be fun, it can also be really uncomfortable and awkward at times. “Where do you meet guys? What type of guy are you going for? Good guy? Naughty guy? What do you say to them? Do you hit on them? Do you buy second round? How does this work? Does he think I’m cute?” These are just some of the many questions that may or may not be running through your head. If you’re a suave girl than you probably have it way more under control than I ever did but I’d like to think that for the most part…most girls relate to my situation.

After many failed attempts of guys buying me a drink or two at a bar and attempting to take me home, I felt defeated by the game of love. [Side note: For any guy reading, don’t think that just cause you can afford to buy girls a drink or two we are obligated to come back home with you. If it works out to your favor, it’s not because of the drinks you bought us…it’s because either 1. we are woman, human, and might be in the need of a one night stand or 2. we actually, kind of, found you interesting enough]

You might be thinking or saying out loud, “well you were looking for men in all the wrong places”…but let’s be realistic here girls. This is 2014, I’m a 21 year old college student, in search for something real or fun. We rarely, and almost never, will meet a guy at church anymore although we should. Or a park, or somewhere you’d think you’d see in a romantic-comedy meet and greet scene. Bars are the “it” place now to socialize and mingle. If not a bar, somewhere usually where a drink or two are involved.

After being a little disgusted by mens’ approach at bars, I decided to do what everyone at some point in their life do. I searched for love in the cyber world.

WHEN THE REAL WORLD FAILS, CYBER WORLD COMES TO THE RESCUE

to be continued….

* by things, I think we all know what I mean.

I take no credit for the image I posted, I got it off tumblr. Thanks Tumblr!

Stayed tuned for part two of Advice: Boys!

xx

p.s. I didn’t feel the need to *bleep* out any names or sugar coat my experiences of life. I’ve learned from each individual who has either hurt me or picked me up and there is no need to shy away from the facts.